Still Sick

Well I have been sick for almost a week straight. It sucks. I wonder if its stress related but I doubt it. My pain level is high today to boot. Really sucks to hurt all the time, it sucks the motivation right out of you. I wish sometimes that I would just die and be done with it. I really didn't like my job but some days it kept my mind off my pain. My counselor was telling me that I get these shitty jobs cuz I have the mind set of a slave. That maybe true I dunno. Every job I have ever had I go there with a positive attitude and try to be happy and do my best well give at least 85% of my energy. Some days i want to cry to let it out to scream at the world and tell it to fuck off and shoot the clouds with my ray gun that I use to hunt down aliens.

My girl is trying to loosed 50lbs b4 we go to Mexico I really hope she dose. I saddens me when she gets tired so quickly. It will be so hot down there in September so every pound counts. I really would love to loose that much too b4 I go I would be in the 180's if that happened to me. I remember when I was at 180 I would look in a mirror and say how fat I am and feel ugly. Now Id kill to be packin in a 180. When I finally get better I'm gonna really try to put my nose to the grind stone and see what I can do. Walks and what not's. I am going to do a liquid fast next week and see how that dose. Not really for weight loss but for cleansing out my system. Lemon juice, maple syrup, and some paprika. Yum yum.